Friday, February 23, 2018

How to practice Self Love

I have been in this journey of self discovery for the longest time but somehow along the way it seems I have pushed a pause button. Just like that I became a wife and a mother. I was left alone to figure out how marriage life was supposed to work.  Life has become this constant need of putting other people first. Every time I tried to be myself I was put down by people around me. I felt guilty all the time when I tried to do things I love like scrapbooking or reading. I am being ridiculed for not spending more time in the kitchen.

Now that my life has changed completely, I am obsessed with finding myself again. Who am I without my work, without a husband, without my children and without my mother? It seems a bit scary. A lot of questions kept popping up in my mind. Am I an independent woman, am I loving , creative, passionate woman or am I this horrible person that nobody cares to love? It has been a struggle getting to know myself again. I did a lot of research on youtube about how to feel good about myself , topic like self love and law of attraction kept popping up.

"Designing a beautiful life begins with self love. Self love breeds self confidence, self worth, self respect, self forgiveness. Don't underestimate its power." - lavendire Artist of life workbook

Self love in progress

So for the rest of the year I decided to practice self love daily. I want to be the kind of person who full of love, compassion, inspired others, see glass as half full and enjoy life more.

Six things I intend to do to practice self love

1. Be more aware of myself - Making a list of all your strength and weakness can help you see all the things that makes you you. Knowing your strength and your weakness is the greatest tool you can have. Don't seek approval from others. Only seek approval from Allah. It doesn't matter what people think about you, what matters most is what Allah thinks of you. Accept what makes you good and not so good.  You are unique and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, it's okay. I really really need to work on this because sometimes I am having trouble making peace with my flaws.

2. Positive Affirmation - I have been trying this for awhile. I kept repeating " You are Stronger than you Think" every single day ever since I filed for divorce last year. This affirmation help me to be strong during those long process. 
This is such a powerful thing. Inviting positive thoughts and positive affirmation into your life daily help you to focus on what matters and what you want to become. I plan to write this down everywhere and reminding myself constantly so that I don't slip back into negative thoughts about myself.

3. Letting go of negative and toxic people - This is a very hard thing to do especially when the toxic people in your life is someone that you love. It's going to hurt and it's going to be hard but letting go of negative people and toxic relationship is the best gift you can give yourself. Invite more positive people and positive energy in your life. Life is to short to be with the wrong person or to be in a toxic relationship. Know what you want and go for it.

4. Invest in yourself -  You only have one body, mind and spirit, take care of it like it's the only thing in the world that matter. Make time to take care of yourself like pampered yourself, have a self care routine, learn new skills, read a book, recite or listen to quran, salah and write morning pages. There so many activities that you can do to take care of your mind, your body and your spiritual. Learn to forgive yourself and others who have hurt you. This will help you to have inner peace. 

5. Stop being in a comparison trap - Do not compare yourself to other. I really need to work on this because I always compare myself to others. I am constantly feeling insecure especially about my self worth, about my intelligence and my culinary skills. I am not a domestic goddess and I constantly hating myself for it. Questions like why I am not like this person or that person constantly popping up in my head. It has become my kryptonite. It crippled me. So this year I need to practice self love by not comparing myself to others. The key to improving yourself is to compare yourself with your previous self. 

6.  Write a Gratitude Journal daily - I have the intention of keeping a gratitude journal since last year but somehow I just can't make this habit stick. Writing about the things that your are grateful for daily requires a lot of thinking and exploring the abundance of the world around you. It's a way to cultivate self love by learning to love the little things about yourself - like you legs, your arm, your mind. I am keeping this type of journaling in my DayOne app. Hopefully this will help me improve my consistency in developing this habit.

Building a relationship with yourself takes time and hard work. Love yourself at your best and also love yourself at your worst. Stop hating yourself for making mistakes. You are human and you are not without flaws. 

Hopefully this list can help you and me in our journey to become a better person and be happy.


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

My Memory Keeping Plan 2018

It took awhile for me to get back on my normal self and normal routine. And it took me like forever to be comfortable again with memory keeping, taking photos and be happy. February feels the right time for me to move forward. I have been doing a little bit of memory keeping here and there. I need to simplify my process of memory keeping so that I have a place to go to when I want to reminisce my life in the future.

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Ever since I discovered my passion for photography back in 2000, I have been taking photos of almost anything. This obsession later evolved into scrapbooking and now into project life style of memory keeping. I love documenting my life because I only have one life to live and I don't want to miss out on the little things. 

Now, people no longer take out their camera and take photos anymore. People use their phone to document their lives and most of the time these memories sitting quietly on a phone for years to come without have any meaning and emotions attached to it. I want this year to be the best year yet for me and my family. I want to live life to the fullest and document them.

Here are a few things I plan to do with memory keeping in 2018;
{Simple = Done} is the philosophy I want to adopt 

1. I want to do Week in a Life Project in June and December - Taking photos daily of my everyday and document them somewhere. I haven't decided yet.

2. Do morning pages in my DayOne App - stream of consciousness type of journaling. I tried to do this every day but so far I have managed to do this once or twice weekly. It's a practice I want to turn into habit. Well habit takes time and I am determine to make that happened.

3. Project 365 - Even though I didn't officially announce I am doing Project 365 this year but I am doing in behind the scene. I want to capture my life in the most intimate moment which I don't think is suitable for public. I want to be free of any rule with this project. So I have been keeping this journal entry in my DayOne app on a regular basis

sepetangbersama

4. Project Life / Scrapbooking - I am going to continue making project life layouts using Project Life app. Once in a while I might try to make complicated pages by using multiple apps but most of the time I am going to keep things simple- photos- journaling- one or two cards. At the end of the year I will print these Project life pages into a photo book

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5. Digital Art Journaling - this is something new I am trying this year. I am using Goodnotes app in iPad Pro for this project. I am trying to make a page a day in February just to satisfied my needs for writing and doodling.

6. Gratitude Journaling - I am also trying to practice being grateful this year. It's a habit that I want to develop which is kinda hard when you are facing with life difficult challenges. I might not capture photos for this type of memory keeping but focus more on documenting thoughts, emotions, feelings on things that I am grateful for. This require a lot of thinking and exploring in the beginning if you are not used to it.

I hope I am not forgetting anything. I love memory keeping in any form. I hope one day I am able to fall in love with videos. It sure would be nice to see my past in a video format. But the problem with technology it keeps evolving and I am not sure if the video format of today can be accessible in the future.

I hope this will inspire you to think about your memory keeping plan this year. Keep on living life and make memories. 

XOXO
hanizeyecandy

Sunday, February 11, 2018

The Beauty of Becoming // Moving forward

I have been sharing part of my story in this blog for a very long time. The main focus of this blog is for me to share my stories in a form of memory keeping, scrapbooking and photography. As much as I would love to share about happy things, more often than not life doesn't work that way. You will get the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. That what makes life.. well life. 
I am not sure if anyone has notice that my husband has been absent for some time from my stories and scrapbook. I have been having a hard time blogging and scrapbooking due to the emotional stress I have been experiencing. We are no longer together and the divorce has been finalized last month. We have grew up together, became parents for the first time together, bought our first house together, build our lives from zero together and after more than twenty years together he decided that he wants something different. We have become a different person and we want different things in life. 
There is nothing easy about all of this. It's not easy to end a marriage.  He has been my family for as long as I can remember. 

It's very hard, very stressful, very heartbreaking and very very very sad. 
When one story ends, another begins. Life goes on no matter what. I am still thankful for all the memories that we shared together and thanks to him I've learn to love myself more and be a strong person. "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain "
I've tried to maintain a normal routine - going to work every morning, take my youngest to school, prepared dinner, manage the chaos when managing four kids and all the normal stuffs including eating. I want my kids to feel normal. I am thankful that I am always here for my kids especially during this rough transition.
It is important to me that I share this piece of information here with all of my lovely readers so that you are aware of this change moving forward. I will continue sharing my stories, making memories, capturing life little moments and scrapbooking.
I have no idea what the future holds for me but one thing is for sure I will survive this. I will be ok. Thank you for being here for me and supporting my blog all this time. There are a lot of things I am thinking of reinventing and changing but it is going to take time. As for now I am living one day at a time. I keep reminding myself, if I can survive today than I know can survive tomorrow.
Wishing all of you, especially any of you who may be experiencing something similar to be strong, remember ALLAH always and keep a journal.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

This month I will .. smashbooking

I just finished watching/ listening to Ali Edwards course materials for February One Little Word workshop 2018. This month assignment is to make a vision board. I am still in the collecting phase and I plan to make the board digitally this weekend. 

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Other than that Ali also encourage us to pick on thing that we want to this month and do it. I am a bit nervous with this assignment because picking up a new habit and sticking to it is going to be a challenge for me. So in the spirit of Simplicity I choose to do smashbooking style journaling using Goodnotes app. I used to love smasbooking but the thought of cutting, pasting , coloring on the page physically makes me anxious. With digital smashbooking I don't have to worry about supplies and making a mess. Everything is available to me digitally and I can easily smash things in digitally without too much effort. 


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My plan for this project is to 

  • always charged my Apple pencil and my iPad Pro
  • carry these two devices everywhere I go
  • make a few template pages for my smashbook from my digital scrapbook kit collection
  • add the pages in my digital notebook
  • paste and write anything that I want to capture that day
  • browse pinterest and facebook group for inspiration either from bullet journaling or fauxbonichi community


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I know that earlier this year I planned to use DayOne app as my go to app for journaling this year. I still used that app daily for gratitude journal and Project 365 journal. I found out that I still have the need to write things down, makes pretty pages and doodling. This is the best compromise that I can think of without making the proses too complicated.

I just wish that I could do water coloring and pencil inking in Goodnotes app. Then my whole process will be much more simpler.



Thursday, February 1, 2018

January 2018 Favorites

Just like that January is over. I have been living my life slowly and adjusting to the new normal. I am happy to have people in my life that I love and respect. I wanted to adopt a simplify life this year. The journey has been tough in the beginning because choosing just one thing is not as easy as I thought it would be. I am still trying a few systems to implement and setting it up to fit my life is a bit challenging. I am getting there ( I hope )

Januaryfav-2018


January 2018 favorites
  • I am obsessed with reading sci fi novel this month. I have read two books (Artemis and Red Hope) and now am reading Blue Hope. 
  • I discovered Resident and 911 TV Shows and I am obsessed. 
  • I love using IFTT recipes this month especially using #journal on Instagram to automatically upload to Dayone app
  • I have been using Dayone app religiously this month and I am loving it
  • I subscribed to Skillshare for three months for $0.99. There's a lot of courses related to arts, crafts, dooling and productivity. I enjoy learning new things there
  • I am also obsessed with Udemy courses and I have been purchasing a few courses during the sales. Now I have to block time to start the course and benefit from it. I also enrolled in Web Application course which I think will be beneficial for me. Sharpen the Saw is one of the things I wanted to do this year
  • Making a One Little Word journal on Goodnotes is so much fun. I love the flexibility of the digital journaling
  • I love The Greatest Showman movie and I have watched it two times this month. I am also obsessed with the soundtrack
  • Audiobook is also one of the tools that I used regularly to listen to audiobook and learn English at the same time 
I am hoping that February will be an amazing month for me. Moving forward with a positive attitude and open heart. 

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